Friday, April 29, 2005

Blog addiction

This blogging thing, which I started as a lark after reading The Iceland Weather Report for a few weeks, has become quite addictive.

I keep adding new blogs to read, and thinking about what to write, and I hope to buy a digitial camera to add pics soon.

Feel free (ya know, if anyone's out there reading me) to recommend more blogs. I like the voices of slightly quirky but mostly ordinary, calm adults. Politics - 'though I prefer Canadian, being Canadian, the Americans are fascinating as well. Fiber arts that don't involve knitting, beautiful photography, gardening, and Living History - Viking Era (which explains in part my fascination with Iceland).

I also just really like the darn sheep. :)



Thursday, April 28, 2005

much on my mind

Finally spent a night completely immune to the squirrels in my head*. Deep undisturbed sleep, at least til 4am anyway. But after that middle of the night girl and her dog pee break, we returned to the same deep sleep.

Morning dawned and brought with it a whole new area of stress in that the period that I've been expecting still hasn't arrived, but the early results pregnancy test says not to worry nonetheless. Surprisingly, I find myself with mixed feelings. Bundles and bundles of mixed feelings to obsess over.

Ya see, I made a decision as a teenager not to ever have children and spent twenty odd years with no reason to challenge that decision. Then this cute guy comes along and marries me despite it, despite feeling differently himself, and somewhere along the line, my feelings have mellowed. Much like the rabid feminist I once was.

And as I near 40 (in June) the biological clock starts clicking.

Just for kicks, the biological clock decided to kick me in the butt today on a number of other topics, mostly because I'm very good at deciding not to confront issues by virtue of getting upset about other things instead. There's a long list of other things I want to get done, and get done NOW. Like the honeymoon in Iceland and Scotland that we still can't afford.

There's a rule, isn't there? A timeline for relationships.

You date, get married, have a honeymoon and come home pregnant, and buy a house and a toaster together, and live happily ever after. Right?

Well, we dated, skipped right to the house purchase together, lived in sin for a bit, and then got married. But still... I was kind of hoping for the honeymoon to happen before the pregnancy.

I'd settle the squirrels in the head, just for the next few days, if it would just STOP RAINING! I have garden things to do. A co-worker earlier muttered something hideous about it being snow, but I refused to believe her. Denial is one's friend.

* Credit for the squirrels analogy goes to Vandy, who really should start a blog of her own someday.


Wednesday, April 27, 2005

sleep deprived

I am sleep deprived. (Had to look that up. I was a spelling bee champion at some point in my life but I'm sleep-deprived.)

Ohh! The hubby just sent me a link for an Iceland image bank. Shiny!

Easily distracted. That's another sign.

That I can barely keep my eyes open is another one.

You see I lay in bed all night, last night and the night before as well, but I remember most of it. The dreams and mundane things alike.

Mundane things that happen nightly - like the dog and cat conversing, the middle of the night bathroom visit (what can I say? I'm middle-aged), letting the dog out for his middle of the night visit, and letting him back in, the husband rolling over, the husband snoring, the cat getting off the bed, and the dog leaping up, repeat ad-nauseum.

Last night's dreams involved the house burning down, with Neil in it, and I'm living in a trailer-home on the site, waiting for it to be rebuilt. But it's okay because the gardens are finally perfect.

I have to decide in another hour or so whether to go to the Gym and exercise tonight or not. It might help me sleep. But I can barely keep my eyes open, let alone walk a brisk one on a treadmill with too loud, bad music blaring and mindless idiocy on one of three pre-programmed tvs. I really need to get an mp3 player so I can have too loud music that I like drowning out that which I don't.

I'm a new blog. I wish y'all have discovered me so I can benefit from your wisdom in making that 'to exercise or not to exercise' decision.

I could always pretend that I'm going to go out into the garden (should there be a brief interlude in the rain) when I get home instead and get my exercise there. Grass to yank up to create more garden space and all. That's worthy exercise.


Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Ah ha!

Why does the world hate Netscape so? It's a perfectly lovely little program that isn't made by the Evil Empire.

My workplace doesn't support it anymore, so we're a little behind in the releases and the powers that be at Blogger don't support 7.0 - 7.2 yes, but not 7.0. And so, I'm forced to use the Evil Empire's product to update my Blog, unless I don't mind losing the same post three times in a row (you think I'd learn) because I want to add a link in the middle of the post!

But I digress...

The short form then is this: Busy weekend planned in the garden, thwarted by SNOW! Amusing tale of sleeping late, sweet husband, and bad bad weather network that didn't warn me of the impending white stuff shortened for Blogger frustration.

I'll get the hang of this yet.


Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Andrea Dworkin

I just today found out that Andrea Dworkin has died. 10 days ago. Somehow I used to be better connected to the feminist world and important things like the passing of one of it's most controversial, brilliant writers would not have escaped me for more then a week.

I feel out of joint, dis-orientated, and sad. I will miss her. Didn't always agree, and often flinched at her conclusions.... but I will miss her.

It's so wyrd that there is so little news, even amongst the feminist community (now that I've gone hunting for more) about her passing, considering the impact she made while alive. She was one of those 'love her' or 'hate her' kind of writers.

Anyway, it made me go fetch her latest book - Heartbreak - out of the stacks to read.

Here's some websites:
Site dedicated to Andrea's works
Susie Bright's memorial